Tired
by FeRnLoVeR87
Summary: They were both tired. She was tired of being afraid, and of pretending that what she felt wasn't love. He was tired of how his past was constantly coming between them, and of how he was always letting her down. Things had to change. But they'll have to weather the storm that follows before reaching their 'promised land'. Wonderful Densiness - rated 'M' for later chapters :)
1. Chapter 1

_**TIRED**_

**A/N: This story is an idea that's been rattling around on my brain ever since I read, in an interview with Shane Brennan, that Kensi and Deeks might be separated at some point this season. This, therefore, is just what I think ought to happen. Enjoy! Oh, and please feel free to leave lots of reviews/comments on your way out – they are always greatly appreciated. Thanks **

Chapter One

_Our story opens to find Deeks, standing deep in meditation, within the confines of his own home shower…._

Steam fills the tiny space around him, engulfing him, as droplets of hot water beat down upon him from the showerhead above. He lowers his head, breathing even and eyes closing tight, and lets the warmth of the water permeate every inch of his muscular body as he loses himself in thoughts of the day.

It's been a trying one, to say the least, but nothing about it weighs more heavily upon his heart than the untimely news he received from NCIS' favorite Assistant Director.

_In the Bullpen, at OSP—_

_It was another slow, unassuming day steeped in the mundane stench of long hours spent filling out long overdue, case-related paperwork. The kind of tedious thing that would most assuredly leave an unwelcome taste in anyone's mouth after just a few hours endured. The paperwork in question was stacked unnervingly high, and in over-engorged piles, about the solid oak desks of OSPs three crack agents and one resident LAPD liaison._

_The hands on the wall clock, mounted just over the entrance to the bullpen, silently neared the late hour of 5 o'clock in the evening when the deafening silence was at last broken by the quiet murmurings of the shaggy-haired LAPD Detective._

"_Man, what I wouldn't give for a break from this nightmare." He whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. A snort of amusement then came from his partner across the way._

_The Detective lifted his gaze, eyebrow raised, and watched as the beautiful brunette that was his partner made her way over to the tiny fridge near the back of the space where she retrieved, for herself, a cold bottle of water._

"_What?" he questioned, his tone only slightly defensive as he eyed his partner carefully._

"_Nothing. I just forgot that sitting still for long periods of time is a problem for you." Kensi teased, as she unscrewed the cap from her bottle of water. _

_Her playful jabs and infectious smirk have always been a source of undoing for the blonde Detective, and this time was no different. He covered himself though, as was so often his nature, with a brilliant return quip of his own._

"_Forgive me, Fern. I forgot __**you**__ actually like being cooped up inside for hours on end." The Detective retorted with a smirk. He knew that the use of his 'nickname' for her would get a delicious rise out of the dark-haired beauty in addition to the rest of his fiery quip._

"_And there off." Callen muttered under his breath, with a look of amusement cast in his partner's direction._

_Sam sighed in defeat as he muttered incoherent nothings of frustration directed, not just at the two junior members of the team, but also at his own partner as he unceremoniously stuffed a hand down inside one of his jeans pockets. _

"_You owe me fifty bucks, partner." Callen whispered cheerfully._

"_You got lucky, G." Sam spat unhappily, as he passed several small bills under the table into the waiting hands of his partner._

_Kensi glared at her partner, eyes narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line, over the use of his silly little pet name for her. "Deeks." The tone of her voice warned against the further use of anymore childish nicknames._

_The shaggy-haired surfer cop just couldn't resist though, and so took his fate into his own hands as he decided to charge in, 'guns-ablazing', once more. "And, just for the record Princess—I'll have you know I am fully capable of going long periods of time without moving even an inch. Though I do rather enjoy more __**physically strenuous activities**__…you know, the kind that require great amounts of endurance." The quick-witted Detective made sure to wiggle his eyebrows at her for added effect._

_Kensi only scowled at her partner and his sexual innuendos, and all the while hoped like all hell that the others wouldn't notice her blush. "Deeks, shut up." She snapped, trying her best to sound angry._

_This was their game. The back and forth banter, the innocently flirtatious remarks, and the silly nicknames were all part of an elaborate dance the two often engaged in, as they skirted dangerously around the precipice of their true feelings-neither one quite yet brave enough to take that one final step over the edge. In essence, it was their 'thing' and had been for quite some time._

_Deeks' cell phone vibrated in his jeans pocket then, and signaled the arrival of a new text message. He fished it out, rather unceremoniously at that, and after briefly eying the name on the Caller ID-pressed 'accept'._

**Mr. Deeks-My office, now. Come alone.**

_His partner peered over his shoulder, as he read in silence, and though she did not speak, still he could hear the gentle in and out of her breathing as she hovered just near his ear._

"_That tickles." He whispered, breaking the comfortable silence._

"_Oh, sorry." She apologized sheepishly, not bothering to actually alter her position in any way. "Who's it from?" she asked next, referring to the text._

"_Hetty." He replied quite simply, as his fingers danced over the touch screen of his Iphone ensuring that the text was cleared from its memory. "She needs to see me." He added, as he began to remove himself from his desk and Kensi made her way back to her own._

"_See you about what?" Kensi questioned, curious as to what their boss might want with __**her**__ partner. She plopped down into her seat once more, and watched as her partner meandered his way around behind the other desks so as to pass directly behind hers on his way out of the bullpen._

_Deeks stopped himself just before passing his partner's desk, a wicked gleam in his eyes, as he leaned in close bravely invading her precious personal space. "I haven't the foggiest, my little Ferny fern. But I guess there's only one way to find out. Now isn't there?" he teased, a smirk plastered upon his face, as he gently tapped a finger against the top of her nose._

_If only looks could kill, then Deeks might very well already be dead and buried after that little stunt._

_**LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA**_

_The liaison officer strolled into the office of one Henrietta Lange, some seconds later, and found that the tiny woman was not at all alone in said space. Instead, she was accompanied by a rather stern looking Assistant Director Owen Granger._

_**Granger.**__ The man had been such a pesky and irritating thorn in their side almost since day one. He was one of those people who, when he spoke, it was like watching Jack Sparrow in __**Pirates of the Caribbean**__—only more refined and well educated. With Granger, one never could quite decipher the truth, if any existed, in the words that passed his lips when his mouth was open._

_Deeks decided then, that whatever the reason he'd been called into Hetty's office, if Granger was involved it probably wasn't anything good or pleasant._

"_Hetty." The Detective greeted the tiny operations manager simply._

"_Mr. Deeks. Please, have a seat." The tiny woman greeted her liaison officer with a thin smile, and a sweep of her hand in the direction of the only other available seat. _

"_Detective." Granger nodded, his voice almost totally devoid of emotion._

"_Assistant Director." Deeks returned the simple gesture in an attempt to at least seem courteous._

_As Deeks took the seat offered him by the 'tiny ninja', as he so affectionately called her, he couldn't help but notice an unnerving grimness set behind the woman's thin smile. It made him cringe inwardly as terrible thoughts pushed their way into the forefront of his conscious thoughts. He became then all the more certain that whatever he was about to hear-it would not be pleasant._

_...TBC..._

…_Stay Tuned For Scenes From Our Next Episode…_

**Excerpt from Chapter Two-**

_"Your plans, Detective." Granger said, in that low voice that would set anyone on edge upon hearing it. "Might wanna cancel them. **Indefinitely**." His tone remained indifferent._

_"Come again?" Deeks shifted uneasily in his seat, and flashed that slightly crooked grin that was reserved for only those rare occasions in which he felt most nervous. One look at Hetty, and the seasoned Detective knew he wasn't going to like what came next._

_Hetty took the opportunity to slide an otherwise unassuming looking manila folder across the oaken desktop until it came to rest just inches from the liaison officer's finger tips. The slight hesitation in her movements did not go unnoticed by the shaggy-haired surfer cop, and the unease he saw in her body language only served to further heighten his already growing anxiety._

_His pacific blue eyes gazed unflinchingly at the simple object set before them, its implications far from lost on him, and the only thought his mind could muster, at the sight of the oh so obvious **L.A.P.D.** scrawl that covered the front tab, was a resounding **'Damn you Bates'**. _

_Join us next time won't you! :) :) :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**TIRED**_

**A/N: Well, here it is—Chapter Two. I really hope that you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I just want to say, first, that I kind of altered how I wanted to do this originally. So, what this means is that the excerpt that tagged onto the end of the last chapter actually becomes a glimpse into Chapter three, instead of Chapter Two. So Sorry. And I just want to thank all you who commented, reviewed, favorited, and followed thus far. It's been real encouraging to see the response this story is getting and rather quickly too. **

**P.S. A big shout out goes to JerichoSteele – We appreciate your service. - Semper Fi**

**-Thanks, FeRnLoVeR**

**Chapter Two**

_We turn back now to our story, and a rather unwelcome conversation…_

"_I hope you don't have any plans for this weekend, Detective." Granger stated, as the Detective took up the offered seat just opposite the tiny operations manager._

"_Actually, now that you mention it. I do have plans. Why?" The Blonde Detective delivered in the way only he could, and to his great pleasure it seemed to have rubbed the Assistant Director in a most unpleasant way._

_Owen Granger's expression showed discontent for naught but a second, before it morphed into an eerie smirk that left Deeks feeling slightly uneasy—which wasn't an easy feat to manage by any means._

_Though he had told the truth, and he did, in fact, have plans for the coming weekend. And not that he was willing to share them with the Assistant Director of NCIS or anything, but those plans did include some alone time with his gorgeous partner and best friend._

_Things between he and Kensi had been, well, shall we say 'tense' ever since the whole Sidarov fiasco was resolved nearly 7 months ago. Sure, they still hung out with their usual 'Movie and Chinese Take-out' nights, they still went out for drinks, and even surfed together on the weekends sometimes, much as they had done in the past. However, it just wasn't quite the same as it had been before the __**torture. **__There was no great mystery as to why things had changed either. They both knew the answer, and it was a subject that they'd left untouched for far too long._

_It was __**the kiss**__. The kiss they'd shared atop the hill overlooking Sidarov's private casa had changed everything. Yet two things had happened immediately following said kiss that further changed the dynamic that was Kensi & Deeks, and it was these two things that ultimately caused their 'thing' to fall into a sort of limbo afterwards. But that was to be no more._

_They were both tired, oh so tired, of their constant dance around 'what could be' if only one of them had the courage to make that first move and step into the yet unknown that existed between them. Both Kensi and Deeks knew that their feelings for each other went far beyond that of just being 'partners' and 'friends', and up until recently neither really knew exactly what to do about it._

_So together, they decided that what they needed was to just get away from everything and everyone, just for the weekend, and just __**talk.**__ The chance to talk without interruption or distraction was something they'd not had, and were in desperate need of. It would be a chance to finally clear the air, and lay all of their cards upon the table for each other to see for perhaps the very first time. It was to be a chance at the happiness they both so deserved._

_A sound like someone had cleared their throat stirred the Detective from his silent reverie, and with a shake of his blonde locks, to clear the dense fog from his brain, he lifted his eyes from where they'd fallen to gaze mindlessly at the floor near his feet. He looked, first to Hetty, and then to Granger in an effort to decide who it was that had so unceremoniously summoned him back from the realm of deep thought- into which he'd previously settled so effortlessly only moments before._

"_Your plans, Detective." Granger said, in that low voice that would set anyone on edge upon hearing it. "Might wanna cancel them. __**Indefinitely**__." His tone remained indifferent._

"_Come again?" Deeks shifted uneasily in his seat, and flashed that slightly crooked grin that was reserved for only those rare occasions in which he felt most nervous. One look at Hetty, and the seasoned Detective knew he wasn't going to like what came next._

_Hetty took the opportunity to slide an otherwise unassuming looking manila folder across the oaken desktop until it came to rest just inches from the liaison officer's finger tips. The slight hesitation in her movements did not go unnoticed by the shaggy-haired surfer cop, and the unease he saw in her body language only served to further heighten his already growing anxiety._

_His pacific blue eyes gazed unflinchingly at the simple object set before them, its implications far from lost on him, and the only thought his mind could muster, at the sight of the oh so obvious __**L.A.P.D.**__ scrawl that covered the front tab, was a resounding __**'Damn you Bates'**__. _

_His plans for the weekend were not such as to be easily broken, nor did he particularly wish to break them, but to do so meant the potential existed to actually lose the one person he cared most about in the world. _

_The Detective leaned forward, slowly, and placed the fingers, of first his right hand, and then of course those of his left upon the very edge of the ominous manila folder. He carefully slid it across the desk top back to the place from whence it came, and shook his head as he did so for further emphasis. _

"_Hetty—no. I-I can't." It came out almost as a whisper, and he had to swallow back a hard lump in the process as he carefully studied the petite woman's reaction in turn. "These plans I have, for the weekend, I can't just—what I mean is they're…" he had to pause a moment, eyes closed and his sentence left to trail off awkwardly and without resolution, as he desperately needed a second to collect his thoughts and form an explanation that wouldn't reveal so much as to potentially jeopardize his own personal mission. _

_Too much had already been allowed to come between himself and the woman he loved, and he wasn't about to let something else hinder their progress—not without a fight at least anyway._

"_Hetty." Deeks said at last, and their eyes met at once as her name passed, with a slight quiver, over his lips. "__**This**__ can wait. __**She **__can't." he made sure, as he spoke, to place the proper emphasis where he knew it would be most effective to his cause._

_At first, Hetty appeared to accept it, as she simply gave him a nod of what he could only describe as understanding, but then she did something that made his whole heart suddenly sink deep within his chest. With a great heaved sigh she began to push the manila folder back towards him with firm, albeit reluctant, intent. _

"_Mr. Deeks, I understand your fervent commitment regarding your 'weekend plans', and I applaud it. Really, I do. However, regretfully, it was your pending 'Agent' status with NCIS that made it rather difficult to talk our way out of this one." Hetty stated firmly. A grim look of apology colored her features just before the tiny woman shot a crossways look at the silent Assistant Director._

_Deeks could almost feel the smirk on Granger's face in that moment. He knew, well had always known, that the Assistant Director's opinion of him wasn't very high. He also knew that this was something that wasn't likely to change at any time in the near future. This was just another way for the older man to delay his entrance into an agency which he felt the shaggy-haired surfer could never truly belong. Though to say he could care less about the Assistant Director and his opinions, would be a drastic overstatement._

_The soon-to-be Ex-Detective let go of a long, ragged sigh, and at last accepted the manila folder from the hands of the aging operations manager. "It's fine, Hetty. I get it. You did what you could, and when your hands are tied. Well, that's that I suppose." Deeks replied, in a dejected manner._

_Hetty sat in silence for a long beat, and carefully studied the disheartened-looking man who sat before her. How she longed for the day when the usually effervescent young man would no longer have to be torn between two loyalties._

"_So, what's the case this time?" Deeks asked, as he fully pulled the case folder to himself and stared at the tiny notes scribbled here and there upon its front cover. He mindlessly thumbed at a raised section of the folder's lower-right corner as he waited for Hetty's reply._

_Instead, however, it was Granger who decided to speak up first. "Understand, Detective. This is a deep-cover assignment which, if successful, benefits not only the L.A.P.D.-but NCIS as well."_

_The defeated-looking Detective let out another sigh, and ran a hand through his shaggy, blonde locks while giving careful consideration to the Assistant Director's words. In his experience with undercover work over the years, the term 'deep-cover' usually meant prolonged or extended by days, weeks, hell, even months sometimes that had the potential of becoming years spent away or outside one's normal life. This knowledge only made his heart feel heavier, as any extended period of time apart from his partner could render their 'thing' salvageable. This he simply could not bear._

_Deeks sat forward in his seat then, and numbly flipped open the front cover of the manila folder. He let his eyes fall upon the contents contained therein, and allowed them to briefly skim over the preliminary case report, which was stapled rather haphazardly to the folders' inside cover._

_Hetty cleared her throat after some minutes had passed, and effectively drew the somber-faced Detective's attention away from his own clearly dreary thoughts, and back onto herself instead. _

"_How long?" Deeks asked, with a sigh, as he looked directly into the piercing eyes of the tiny operations manager who sat across from him. "How long will I be under?" he clarified, rephrasing his previous question._

"_That, Mr. Deeks, is unknowable—and completely dependent upon how expediently you reach a suitable conclusion for this case." Hetty replied, in an attempt to garner at least some hope in her pending Agent._

"_Could be a month—maybe two." Granger interjected then, and Deeks did not need to see his face to know that the older man was, at the moment, enjoying himself. "Perhaps longer. It all depends."_

_**Great. Just fucking great. There was no way in hell he could possibly expect, or even ask, Kensi to wait that long for him to come back. She didn't deserve that. No, she deserved so much better. Better than him.**_

"_Fine. Whatever. So, again, what or who are we dealing with this time around?" he figured he might as well ask the next most obvious question._

"_Two weeks ago, Corporal Craig Myers disappeared from his post at Camp Lejeune. He was assigned as part of a two man crew tasked with guarding a high-level weapons repository, located on base, which contained several crates set to be re-located at the end of this month." Granger explained, as he leaned forward a bit more in Deeks' direction._

_It didn't take a genius to see where Granger's story was headed, but Deeks opted to remain silent and let the Assistant Director continue uninterrupted._

"_At first, everyone thought that Myers had simply gone AWOL." Hetty said, and effectively injected herself into the conversation._

_Granger nodded. "Accept…now we know better."_

"_Indeed. Later inspection of the repository's contents revealed that two, of what was originally 5, marked crates are now missing as well." The operations manager leaned forward, hands folded and placed just so atop the desk before her, as she continued on with her case briefing._

_Deeks decided to speak up at this point. He figured it couldn't really hurt at this point. "I assume we're all thinking this Corporal Myers guy had something to do with the missing crates. Correct?"_

"_Correct, Mr. Deeks. And if you were to assume, also, that Corporal Myers had recently resurfaced—then you would be correct in that as well."_

"_And if I were to assume that he resurfaced here in L.A.?" Deeks questioned._

"_Once again—correct." _

_The seasoned Detective flipped over to the next page of the dossier that set before on the oaken desktop, and immediately felt himself cringe inwardly as his eyes fell upon the violent depictions portrayed in the myriad of photographs displayed before him. They were the kinds of things that one only hoped existed just in silver screen horror films._

"_Not sure what it is I'm looking at now, but I gotta say, at this point—I wish I hadn't." Deeks remarked, and averted his eyes, briefly, from the opened page._

_Granger reached over then, and slid some of the enclosed photographs around __until at last he came upon one in particular that he proceeded to move to the top of said pile. "This man here…is Diego Alvarez. He's a real ruthless son-of-a-bitch who's in town looking to make a name for himself as the new head of the Los Santos drug cartel—originally based out of Baja and headed, until recently, by Juan DeSantos."_

"_I'm guessing that something happened to, uh, Mr. DeSantos."_

"_He died." Granger stated plainly, as if it were no big thing at all. "Last week, actually. Massive heart attack—probably had it coming in the long run." Granger didn't pause for much longer than a few seconds, before he picked up his story where he'd left off just moments earlier. _

"_For the past week, since DeSantos' death, one of his top enforcers, a man by the name of Enrique Rodrigo, has been holding the reigns of DeSantos' empire. According to intel gathered by our friends over at the DEA, Rodrigo is supposed to wait until the former leaders' son, Marco, reaches L.A. at which time he will most likely take over his father's drug empire. Now, several major players in the L.A. area, Alvarez included, have positioned themselves to make a grab for DeSantos' empire."_

"_This is all very fascinating, sir. But, if I may be so bold, how does Corporal Myers and the missing weapons crates figure into all of this?" Deeks asked, though something deep inside told him he wasn't going to very much like the answer he got._

"_Patience is a virtue, my dear Mr. Deeks. An anonymous tip submitted to L.A.P.D. just three days ago identified a man, matching Corporal Myers' description, who was abducted from a street corner just outside the Beggar's Inn motel in downtown L.A." Hetty supplied._

"_I know the place. It's a popular stop-in for out of town surfers on their way in, and drifters on their way out." Deeks commented, as he recalled taking part in a sting Op there during his early days with L.A.P.D. Deeks appeared thoughtful for a moment, but then quickly shook his head and returned his gaze to Hetty._

"_Quite. The anonymous tipper also managed to identify a tattoo worn by one of the assailants as belonging to that of Diego Alvarez's crew. Early this morning, Corporal Myers' body was discovered in a construction site not far from where he was abducted." As Hetty conveyed this little bit of information, Deeks shuffled a single finger through the small clutter of photographs until one in particular caught his eye._

_Picking the photograph up, Deeks cringed visibly, and a pained expression crossed his scruffy features. The sight of the horribly mutilated body depicted in the photograph brought on an uncontrollable flood of memories from his torture at the hands of the sadistic Isaak Sidarov, and this caused the Detective a considerable amount of discomfort. He had to shake his head once and then twice just so that he could see straight, let alone be able to think clearly again._

_Hetty noticed her Detective's reaction to the photograph, and she knew then that this case would be extremely difficult for him, and even if he did succeed and if he did make it out alive—he would be undoubtedly changed forever._

"_G-Geez, this guy looks like he went through hell before he died." Deeks finally managed, as he averted his eyes to avoid looking at the horribly violent depiction in the photograph. He quickly stuffed it back into the folder, and tried to quickly school his features. _

"_The gist of this is," Granger said at last, straightening in his seat. "Without someone on the inside of this, there's no way for us to know whether or not Myers has given up the crates. And if he hasn't given them up, then we need to find them before Diego Alvarez does."_

"_And that's where I come in, huh?" Deeks questioned quietly._

"_We need someone who is cold, calculating, and not afraid to cross the line, if need be, and someone who has no shortage of seedy connections." Granger's face seemed to light up in an almost eerie way as he spoke then, and Deeks couldn't help but envision one person and one person alone—__**Max Gentry.**_

_Oh what a sheer nightmare this was turning out to be._

…_TBC…_

…_Stay Tuned For Scenes From Our Next Episode…_

_**Excerpt from Chapter Three—**_

_**In the Firing Range…**_

_They stood just feet apart, engulfed by deafening silence, while his words hung over them like an ominous black cloud. Then it was Kensi who finally broke the silence._

_"So, what's your cover then?" she asked, as if she hadn't already figured it out. Her voice was thick with the emotions that stirred deep within her fragile heart, and she utterly dreaded the heart-wrenching answer she knew would come from his lips._

_She waited patiently, and watched as her partner shifted uneasily before her clearly uncomfortable with his own thoughts at that particular moment._

_"Kens, I think you already know the answer." he said quietly, avoiding her eyes. He chose instead to point his own gaze at a spot on the floor near his feet. He just could not help thinking that this time he might actually hurt the one person he cared about more than anything else. This was, after all, an alias whose name was synonymous with heartache and sorrow._

_Her bottom lip quivered, but only slightly, and she willed herself not to cry as she finally uttered the vile name which she had come to loathe almost as much as she knew her partner did. "Gentry."_

_Deeks only nodded in return, and Kensi suddenly felt her heart sink within her chest._

_...Please, join me next time won't you... :) :) :) :) :) :)_

_**A/N: As you guys probably noticed, this chapter was mostly just a bunch of exposition. I would just like to say, however, that this was/is a necessary chapter in the overall plot of the story. Thanks again everyone! P.S. Also, the next chapter could possibly have some seriously heavy 'Densiness' if you know what I mean (wink wink) :) :) :)**_


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